What If Star Trek Was Set in Singapore?
Posted on Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Topic: We, The Citizens |  The new ‘Star Trek’ is not bad leh! How come kilat sci-fi stories are never set in Singapore, ha? WHAT IF STAR TREK WAS SET IN SINGAPORE?
1. ‘To boldly go where no man has gone before’ means to attend the AWARE AGM.
2. The villains are not Romulans, but Quasimilans.
3. All starships have own food court inside.
4. The Enterprise’s mission is to sail out from Sentosa to international waters, then start up the casino.
5. Whole of Starfleet unable to capture lone lame Klingon, who manages to escape from a toilet and then beam out of Federation territory in a rudimentary teleportation device.
6. Fugitive Klingon recaptured by bleddy Vulcan forces who refuse to give Starfleet any real credit for providing crucial intelligence.
7. Singaporean tricorders look suspiciously like Creative Zen MP3 players.
8. In Singaporean transporter rooms, you must buy an ez-link card before you can beam anywhere.
9. Returning Enterprise crew all kena quarantine to check for H1N1 virus.
10. No one is particularly surprised that Kirk and Spock are seen attending the Pink Dot event.
11. The Enterprise no longer powered by dilithium crystals – uses Newater instead.
12. Tribbles all sponsored by Beijing 101.
13. Kirk likes to drape bamboo massage beads over his seat in the bridge.
14. Singapore Democratic Party buay song that Starfleet copied their symbol.
15. Of course Star Trek is very Singaporean! We’re run by the living embodiment of the saying, “Live long and prosper,” mah!
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