New Management but same old Cock
Welcome to the new website! It's only been a year since we've launched Singapore's best-loved (at least we think so) satire and humour site, but as part of our acquisition and corporate restructuring, we are now proud to present you with a brand-new look and feel, and a more streamlined way to deliver content.

The graphics, design and look has changed, but the cock stuff is the same! We have not changed the editorial team or our style. OK, perhaps we're a little more upmarket now that we've been featured in The Economist, had a mention in Parliament and we're finally making a movie, but trust us, we're still, at heart, the same bunch of cocksters you've grown to love or hate.

We have moved to a new stand-alone web server which we own and operate. What this means is that we will be able to provide more new features in the upcoming months. Some of these, like interactive games you have already seen. We want to add more things, like surveys, polls, streaming multimedia and so on. The new system also allows us to provide better editing and content management features to all our editors and lets us update the content easily. This is the biggest win, as we now can concentrate on writing features and articles, and posting them, instead of worrying about how to layout in HTML and grappiling with Microsoft Frontpage (which adds 33% more 'junk' HTML to every webpage). In future we may even update news stories over the week instead of having a once-a-week update, although that may stay for the time being.

We are using a database and a new web publishing software, PHP Nuke, to keep our stories and features. This means a slightly better organised archive (with much improved search) at the expense of more flexible graphics and layout. What this means is that the stories and articles now appear in a 'fixed' format, instead of, say, a Frontpage designed layout. This may look boring and cock to some, structured and disciplined to others, but in the end, it's still the same content.

What it means for you, the reader, are the following 'improvements'

  • Forums and comments. You can now enter comments to the website, and contribute your own cock ideas and thoughts to our forums. This has been a much asked for feature. Now everybody can talk cock on our site.

  • Better search and organising capabilities. Most of our content is searchable now, and old stories are organised by date and topic. You will also notice that each article has its own page now, rather than having a week's worth in one place, which makes it easier to read and cross-reference stories.

  • Interactive features. With the new software, PHP, we can provide better interactive software rather than HTML. The Minister's Quiz game is an example. Because we have our own server, we can install new software, e.g. a streaming video or MP3 server in future.

  • Membership. OK, some of you don't like to sign up for website membership and things like that, but our membership feature is really easy and we don't collect information which will go directly to the ISDU. We simply want to keep track of how many registered users we have for demographic (read, selling banner ads) reasons. As a member you can do some things like customise your background theme, post to forums and possibly other goodies like lucky draws and free t-shirts in the future. Since the system logs users, you can see who are online at any moment. In future, we may even let you chat or ICQ cock to each other.

  • Banner advertising. Yes, this is something most of us hate, but let's face it, it's one way of making money, which is harder and harder to come by for pure Internet content sites. We don't plan to make much money off this, and we won't blast you with stupid ads, but we hope to earn enough to pay for the server bandwidth and other associated costs. (US$50++ a month, we're not talking cock here) So bear with us - we don't want to end up selling our backend servers to finance the website.

  • Improved Coxford Dictionary. Thanks to the database, we have a more interactive dictionary, with better search (even by sound-alike methods), hypertext linking and content management (for us editors). The Coxford is now linked to news stories, (on the right side) you will notice that Singlish terms in articles are now flagged. OK the software is a little cock, and spurious words appear, but what the fish, right?

  • There are probably some things we've left out, and there are so many other things we want to add in the future. Some of you have asked for SMS and/or WAP capability. We'll work on that once we have time (we all have day jobs). More Flash games are being planned.

    Nothing is perfect, as with all new software. Some old articles have not been marked up properly -- it took us literally months of whipping our team of coolies (just kidding, it was only me) to get the old stuff archived in the database, not to mention customising the software for our own purposes. There are probably a ton of bugs waiting for you to find out and inform us. Sorry, lah! If you have suggestions for improvements in the user interface, or would like to design a new 'theme' or anything to help us with the new site, let us know. There is a Forum called cock ideas for you to tell us what you want out of Talk Cock to us now!

    Lau Cheow
    Chief Tek-lor-ti Oppicer

    This article comes from TalkingCock

    The URL for this story is: